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Seven Songs and a Conversation

by Paul Needza Friend

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1.
Second Nature Smile 03:04
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Daddy can't you see what the world has done to me? They turned your happy little boy into a suicidal lunatic And Daddy did you know that the world was so mean ? When you had me back then, was you an optimist or just like me? Is this just a dream I wish that none of this were happening I used to know myself I used to love myself I used to wake up in the morning with a smile Daddy did you think I'd ever grow up like this? I am so angry and pissed because I'm jealous of everyone else Daddy tell me why do we have to get old? When I was a kid I thought that age would make things so much easier I wish that none of this were happening I used to know myself I used to love myself I used to wake up in the morning with a smile I know that you was struggling the whole time beside me And I know that life ain't never fair to anyone at all I know that all you wanted was security To make us feel like we had some kind of a home in this cold world Is this just a dream I wish that none of this were happening I used to know myself I used to love myself I used to wake up in the morning with a smile I used to wake up in the morning with a smile I used to wake up in the morning with a smile
2.
Snooze 02:56
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Don't you feel like shooting yourself? Every morning when you hear that alarm go off? There's no reason to waste your life Doing all the things that make you sick Just turn it off and go back to sleep And fantasize about a life worth while You could be anything you want to be Just don't let anyone run your life Don't you feel like shooting yourself? Every morning on your way to work? There's no reason to waste your life Working hard ar someone else's dream And fantasize about a life worth living You could be anything you want to be Just don't let anyone run your life Don't you feel like shooting yourself? Every night when the day is trough? Another day has passed you by And you did nothing that you wanted to? Don't you feel like shooting yourself? Every morning when you hear that alarm go off? There's no reason to waste your life Doing all the things that make you sick
3.
Not My Mother 02:12
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Well if you're not my mother don't tell me what to do don't tell me how to run my life I don't need your selfish advice I wish you would just stay out of my way cuz you don't know me, you don't know where I been you don't know what the world has done to me has done to me so if you're not my mother don't treat me like a kid cuz I don't need you wiping my nose you can keep your money I'll keep my integrity, I'm never come running back home I don't want to see this go on forever tell me what is it gonna take to get it through to you I'm not as stupid as you think I am I have a plan and I'll get there with or without you so if you're not my mother don't tell me stories don't try to manipulate me cuz I'm not rebelling I'm trying to excel and I don't need a fight with you
4.
Soaked 02:58
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Everything happens for a reason That’s what my mother said to me But there’s this cloud hanging over my world That keeps me soaked in agony So hold me in your arms ‘cause I don’t wanna be alone anymore I try to believe what she tell me I face each new day with a smile But someone’s always there to make me Cry before the day is through So hold me in your arms ‘cause I don’t wanna be alone anymore Maybe someday everything gonna make sense Maybe I won’t have to be high-strung and tense Feeling like I got something to prove To the ones that abuse me Tearing myself in two So I’m sorry if I’m inadequate Please just know that I done my best I don’t try to hurt anybody ‘Cause I know that life is hard enough So hold me in your arms ‘cause I don’t wanna be alone anymore Everything happens for a reason That’s what my mother said to me But there’s this cloud hanging over my world That keeps me soaked in agony And it keeps me soaked in agony
5.
Not Enough 02:28
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Well, love don't make me happy It just keeps me occupied Just another force of habit that's been eating up my time But when it's gone I want it back I know I should appreciate Everything that I have I don't know why it's not enough for me well, friends don't make me happy I just need them to survive Cuz I am always getting sappy And I need some place to cry But when I'm down, when I'm out Doesn't matter who I'm with I try to talk, but I can't I don't know why it's not enough for me It's not enough for me Well, I know that I'm childish And I'm trying to change I know I'm insatiable And I know it's deranged But everyone's been down on me For living like I do And I just hope someday I'll be Good enough for you When I'm down, when I'm out I take for granted everything that I have I don't know why it's not enough for… well, sex don't make me happy It just helps me to forget But it's only temporary And in the end I'm just a mess again When it's gone I want it back I know I should appreciate Everything that I have I don't know why it's not enough for me
6.
Me and My Destiny 02:53
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I'm sorry I never knew what to say I'm sorry the chemicals in my head don't work just like they should when you were reprimanding me I guess some thing just can't be taught But I really wish they could Somehow, some day some way I make everything alright, okay just as long as I don't let You and your family get in the way of Me and my destiny Can't you see that Sometimes I'm just too weak Sometimes I don't get enough sleep Sometimes I let petty outsiders Dictate my life for me I'm sorry I never knew what to do Couldn't help but feel like I'd been screwed by the upper one percent and their middle class monkeys Who live in the world made on TV I wish they really would wake up Somehow, someday some way I'll make everything Alright, okay Just as long as I don't let You and your bureaucracy Get in the way of Me and my destiny Can't you see that Sometimes I'm just too weak Sometimes I don't get enough sleep Sometimes I let petty outsiders Dictate my life for me Could you let it go Could you let me live I already apologized for everything I ever did Don't you think it's time we switch roles Cuz I can think of a thousand things that you did to put the downswing of my life into full effect Don't you forget that you begged me let you tag along Somehow, someday someway I'll make everything Alright, okay Just as long as I don't let you stand in the way of me
7.
Big "M" 03:06
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When we was in Mazula or Mazola or whatever the fuck you say it I don't know and I don't care But that place really got to me Twenty nine cent burgers was first real food we had had for days till we started following around the lunatic who stopped and screamed "HEEEEY" to nobody at all yeah he screamed "hey" to nobody at all But anyways the big "M" is watching us from the mountains above our adventures and nothing can replace the state we're in Livin off of baked beans and generic cigarettes our brains are turning into cream cheese melting in the mountain of mountains rednecks spread like herpes out here And I don't think that they appreciate my eyeliner a one bit I don't think they understand me And the big "M" is watching us from the Mountains above our adventures and nothing can replace the state we're in Ahh, the Big fucking "M" ahh carved in the mountain
8.
1200 Santa Susana Pass 17:04
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released October 4, 2008

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