Gettin' Off (Take 1)

from I'm a Parody of Myself by Paul Needza Friend

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lyrics

I walked in your father when he was masturbating
guess he thought no one was home
then he put away his porno mag
lost the erection that he had cuz
he didn't like being caught by his daughter's boyfriend

and now he's feeling embarrassed
but you know he got no reason because...

Everybody gotta get off somehow
Everybody gotta clean the old pipes out
Don't make no mistake
there ain't no saints among us
only fakes when they say
that they never masturbate
or contemplate being gay
so save some face and don't act so ashamed
don't act so ashamed

Watching a documentary about rubber sex dolls
that get sold to lonely men
and they look like real women
and they feel like so human, man
but they don't say anything to hurt your feelings

and then your girlfriend calls them freaks
but you let her know how nice it'd be cuz...

Everybody gotta get off somehow
Everybody gotta clean the old pipes out
Don't make no mistake
there ain't no saints among us
only fakes when they say
that they never masturbate
or contemplate being gay
so save some face and don't act so ashamed
don't act so ashamed

When I was pubescent I molested fresh produce
that I got from the kitchen
and my mom kept wondering,
where'd all her grapefruits went
and I got a good feeling that she's still clueless

and nowadays she can hear the truth
I bet she got her own story or two cuz...

Everybody gotta get off somehow
Everybody gotta clean the old pipes out
Don't make no mistake
there ain't no saints among us
only fakes when they say
that they never masturbate
or contemplate being gay
so save some face and don't act so ashamed
and proclaim
that you never masturbate
or contemplate being gay
so save some face and don't act so ashamed

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from I'm a Parody of Myself, released September 24, 2010

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